Waffle House at Home

Last night (maybe after a beer or two), Scott really wanted to go to Waffle House.  Being on a diet, I could not have been less pleased with this, as I have no restraint when it comes the ol' WH.  I get the same thing every time: a cheesesteak melt with hash browns covered and smothered.  NOT good for the hips, my friend.  We came to a compromise... we snacked on healthy munchies at home (pickles, string cheese, and celery) and I promised to make him a Waffle House breakfast in the morning.



It has been years since I have attempted to make hash browns from scratch, but I remembered them being fairly easy to pull off, if a bit difficult to perfect.  The trick is to squeeze as much water from the potatoes as possible (did you know potatoes were so full of water? It's amazing!).

I started with two smallish Russet potatoes and half a yellow onion.  I shredded the potatoes and onion using my box grater over a tea towel lined with three layers of paper towels and lightly salted them.  I wrapped them up and wrung them out over the sink (it's fun to watch the tea towel turn purple... don't use a good one!) until I couldn't squeeze out any more water, then I swapped out the paper towels with three layers of fresh ones and squeezed again.  Meanwhile, I heated up a large skillet with a half-and-half blend of olive oil and butter.  When the butter had begun to brown and was sizzling, I spread out my potatoes and onions into a single, 1/2-inch layer in the pan and added more salt and some freshly ground black pepper.  I packed them down with a spatula and left them alone... if you move them, they won't get brown!



After about 5 minutes, the hash browns were ready to flip.  I  covered the hash browns with a large dinner plate, and flipped the pan so the hash browns were inverted into the plate, then I added a little more oil and butter to the pan and slid the hash browns back in, to cook for another 5 minutes.

A little burned, but it's okay... more flavor!

Meanwhile, I scrambled up some eggs, toasted some bread, and shredded some sharp cheddar cheese.  When the eggs were nearly set, I turned off the heat and covered them with shredded cheese to melt while the toast was finishing.  By the time the toast was done, the cheese was melted and the hash browns were a nice golden brown on both sides, and ready to serve!

I added a little mayo to the toast (just a teeny smear will work wonders) and made open-face sandwiches with the scrambled eggs, and topped the hash browns with a little more shredded cheddar (smothered and covered, just like I like them!).

Cheddar makes it better!

The hash browns were very nice and crispy, and had great flavor, but they were a little greasy.  Next time I think I would use less oil in the pan, and let the pan get a little hotter before I add the potatoes.  The cooler the pan is, the more grease your food will absorb.  Overall, though, I am quite pleased with how they turned out, especially since I haven't made them in forever.  Total cook time, including prep, was about 15 minutes, so it's really not as time-consuming as one would imagine.  And Scott, who has always been very critical of my scrambled eggs, said these were absolutely perfect!  (The trick is to let the beaten eggs sit in the pan for a few seconds before starting to scramble them)

So the next time you are craving Waffle House, save yourself some money and calories and just make your breakfast at home!

Grumpy Bagels

What better way to wake up your Grump in the morning than with a piping hot onion bagel, made fresh in your own kitchen?  I went a step further and actually cajoled my own Grump to make these bagels himself... really working the grumpiness right into every chewy, soft, and savory pore of this delicious breakfast food!

Bagels are much easier to make than you would think.  They only call for the bare minimum of ingredients, most or all of which I'm sure you already have in your pantry, and though they do take some time to make, most of it is inactive work, like waiting for the dough to rise or the bagels to bake in the oven.  And while you can definitely make these yourself, the fun is in having your Grump join you in the kitchen... four hands work better than two!

I'll post the entire recipe at the bottom of the page, because bread is one of those things you can't really mess around with too much.  You gotta have exact measurements, which is not usually my style.

To begin, you'll mix together your dry ingredients (flour and yeast), then your wet ingredients (water, salt and sugar), and then pour the wet into the dry.  Getting this thoroughly mixed takes either a stand mixer (which I did not feel like cleaning), or some serious elbow grease.  My Grump has plenty of the latter, so I put him to work on the dough.

When the dough is properly mixed, it's time to knead.  Throw a little flour down on your countertop and get to work.  It takes about 8-10 minutes of kneading if you're doing it by hand, so put on some tunes, roll up your sleeves, and go on and get your hands dirty.  If you're feeling extra grumpy, it's a good way to get some tension out!

Now it's time for a rest... for you and the dough!  Cover everything up and let it sit on the counter for about fifteen minutes.  The dough will rise, but it won't actually double in size as if you were making bread.  It'll just get nice and soft and puffy.  Cut the dough into 12 equal pieces (though, for this recipe, which was written in the '70s, I generally made about 8 modern-sized bagels) and form into balls.

Now to make these rolls into bagels...  with a floured finger, poke a hole through the center of the dough ball and wiggle it around, stretching and pulling the dough evenly until you have what actually looks like a bagel.

Now, cover your bagels and let them rise again for about 20 minutes.  In the meantime, fill up a large, wide pot with a gallon of water and one tablespoon of sugar.  Bring the water to a boil, then reduce to simmering.  If you are working with an oldish electric range, like I was, your 20 minutes should have elapsed by now and it's time to start boiling the grump right into those bagels.

Drop 3 or 4 bagels into the pot, or however many you can fit without the sides touching, and boil for about 7 minutes, turning over halfway through.  Don't worry, they will float, and they will toughen up as they boil, so you don't have the sticky mess you might expect.  As you pull them out of the water, put them on a plate lined with towels to absorb the rest of the water, and continue on with your next batch until all the bagels are boiled.

When all your bagels are ready, pop them on a greased baking sheet and into the oven at 375 degrees for 30-40 minutes.  But wait!  Weren't we making onion bagels?  One more step...  In a saucepan, melt a few tablespoons of butter (2 or 3) with about half of an onion, very finely minced.  Saute until the onions are cooked, but not yet brown.  And you'll want to stay in the kitchen for this one, folks... if there's a better scent than onions cooking in butter, I don't want to know about it!

When are they ever going to invent smellovision? This would be the perfect time to use it.

When the bagels have about 15 minutes left in the oven, brush on the butter-onion mixture, then return to the oven.  Let your nose be your guide... when you smell onions, your bagels are ready!  They won't brown up very much, so be careful not to overcook them.  Then dig in!  Please, please, I beg you, do not wait for these guys to cool before you eat them.  One of the greatest joys in life is a hot bagel fresh from the oven, and that joy exists only in a window about about 10 minutes.  You can toast the rest later, grill them, slice them up for sandwiches, I don't care.  Just make sure you get at least one hot chewy bagel while it's still steaming!

Onion Bagels (makes 8-12)

• 4.5 cups flour
• 2 pkgs instant dry yeast
• 1.5 cups warm water
• 3 tbsp salt
• 1 tbsp sugar

1. Mix 1.5 cups flour and yeast in a large mixing bowl, or in your stand mixer, dough hook attached.  In a separate bowl, mix water with sugar and salt, then add to flour mixture and stir until thoroughly combined.  Knead 8-10 minutes or until dough becomes elastic and smooth. Cover and let rest 15 mins.
2. Cut dough into 8-12 equal portions; form into smooth balls.  With a floured finger, poke a hole in the center of each ball and gently stretch to form bagel shapes.  Cover and let rest 20 mins.
3. In a large pot, boil one gallon of water and one tbsp sugar, reduce to simmer.  Drop bagels into water, 3 or 4 at a time, for seven minutes each, turning halfway through.  Let bagels dry on a plate lined with towels until all bagels have boiled.
4. Place bagels on a greased baking sheet and place in a 375 degree oven for 30-40 minutes.  If making onion bagels, saute 3 tbsp butter with 1/3 cup finely minced onion until onions are soft but not yet browned.  Brush onion-butter mixture over bagels at the final 15 minutes of baking time.

Stephen's Scotch Eggs

This post is dedicated to my brother, Stephen, a Marine currently serving his first (and hopefully ONLY) tour in Afghanistan.  My family briefly stayed in Wimbledon, England, with my aunt and uncle, where we were first introduced to Scotch eggs.  They are greasy, fatty, and full of protein, and boy are they delicious!  Today, if you ask Stephen what his favorite ethnic cuisine is, he is likely to mention British food as one of his favorites, largely due to Scotch eggs, which he ate plenty of during our stay in Wimbledon.  When I saw this recipe online, it reminded me of him, and I just had to make them in his honor.

Like many British foods, this is traditionally deep-fried, but mine is a somewhat healthier version, in that it is baked.  A Scotch egg is simple... a hard-boiled egg, wrapped in sausage, breaded, and cooked so that the sausage and egg meld into one portable, hand-held breakfast or snack, perfect for the Atkins dieter or anyone who needs a major protein boost.

The recipe is simple.  Boil some eggs, wrap them in some breakfast sausage (I used Jimmy Dean Hot Sausage), coat in an egg wash, roll in Panko, and bake.  I'm going to call this first try a fail, mainly because I forgot about them in the oven and they baked WAY too long, and the sausage shrunk and split, revealing the egg underneath.  But they were still quite tasty, and they stand alone as a perfect breakfast, without the need for condiments (though if you must, they go best with a dollop of stone-ground mustard).

For one batch, you need about 5 large hard-boiled eggs (I used 10-minute eggs), one pound of sausage, one beaten egg for the wash, and about 1/4 cup of panko breading.  You could use fresh breadcrumbs or any store-bought seasoned breadcrumbs, but I prefer Panko for the delicious crisp they provide.  Estimate one egg per serving, as they are quite rich.  I will definitely be making these for Stephen when he gets home from Afghanistan, and I hope he enjoys these as much as he loved the ones from his stay in England!

Summer Breakfast

Not enough people eat breakfast every day.  I used to be a staunch anti-breakfaster, but lately I've been waking up earlier, getting hungry, and starting to think about what to eat.  Through a long process of trial and error, I have found a breakfast so perfect and delicious, so filling and nutritionally balanced, that I don't know if I'll ever switch it up to something different.  The thing is, it's really only perfect for summer.  When the mornings start getting colder, I know I'll turn to my old tried and true oatmeal (and boy do I have some oatmeal recipes for you!), but right now, when berries are cheap, is the perfect time for this breakfast.

You can't see the yogurt, but I promise it's lurking in there somewhere!

It doesn't have a name, because it's not actually a recipe.  All I do is dump one container of Chobani Greek yogurt into a bowl, add a handful of muesli or granola (right now I'm using Kashi GoLean Crunch because I got it on sale and it's delicious, but last week I was using muesli from Whole Foods), a handful of blueberries, and a handful of sliced strawberries.  Then I hit it with a splash of soy milk (I don't handle regular milk very well, though for some reason, cheese and yogurt are never a problem).  The soy milk cuts down the thickness, because you know how thick that Greek yogurt is, and then I give it a good stir and scarf it all down in about 8 seconds, because that's just how good it is.  Fiber, protein, calcium, vitamins, all in one very tasty, low-fat package!  It doesn't get much better, folks.